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The Joey Del Experience: Joey Del 2.0

Posted at 19:19 2010-01-25

Good morning one, good morning all...welcome back to my weekly blog article for the first time today.

The more astute, patriotic Australians amongst you may have noticed that my opening gambit is actually courtesy of the 12th man, Billy Birmingham, easily one of the funniest men to ever come out of Australia. Those of you who didn't gather that are probably thinking one of two things.

Firstly, “Wow this 12th man character sounds great. I would like to hear more!” To you fine people I say, yes he is fantastic, pick up any of his CD's and assure you that you will be laughing the night away. It will also make watching cricket that little bit more enjoyable (I am actually watching the cricket as I write this which is the reason I am talking about it).

Those of you who don't give a stuff about Billy Birmingham or anything else that I have written about over the past 10 months are probably more thinking along the lines of “Wow this Joey guy is painful, when will he realise that nobody has any interest in reading anything that he has written. With any luck he will suffer some kind of unfortunate accident over the next week and we will not have to read this literary dribble ever again!” To you I say, well the 12th man is hilarious and you are doing yourself a grave injustice by ignoring him. I take your points on board about me though and I too hope that you fall victim to some sort of a tragic misadventure in the near future.

Ok, now that we have all the niceties out of the way we can carry on with what promises to be another edition of the Joey Del Experience. Some of you may know that I live a fairly primitive lifestyle. A dodgy studio apartment in the proud suburb of Ashfield (formerly inhabited by a working class whore who used my apartment as both a residential and a commercial unit). I never really had time or money for frivolous extras in life such as beds and refrigerators. There was a good few months were my apartment consisted of nothing more than a laptop computer, a chair and a couple of old pizza boxes.

It is for this reason that I have often looked at the people from the Haiti's and the Sierra Leone's of the world with envy about how they could have such nice things when I had nothing. Even now in the aftermath of a catastrophic hurricane, the Haitians still have people flying in and delivering them food whilst Domino's still don't believe that my address is a real house. Every time I want to eat pizza I have to go to the shop and get it myself! Some people have all the luck.

My lack of material possessions has meant that the majority of my poker and writing career has taken place on the one pathetic little laptop. It is quite hard to multi table more than 10 tournaments on a 14' monitor for over 12 hours every Monday. I may be out of line but I am more than prepared to blame the fact that I have not had any major cashes in the last year and a half exclusively on my computer set up and not on my lack of skill. However things are about to change.

I have been a bit silly over the past couple of weeks and have gone on an upgrade mission so extravagant that it would send moisture to the pants region of even the biggest computer nerd. I have gone from having just one laptop with a busted keyboard to now being the kind of cool computer kind of guy who has a 40' television (which now leads a double life as a monitor...sort of like an uncool version of Clark Kent and Superman...not that Clark Kent was all that cool...let's get back to it), a wireless keyboard and mouse and an awesome modular (which I now know is the industry term for 'that cool L shaped lounge that my mate has') couch!

Gone are the days of hunching over a tiny little laptop on a broken chair as I tried to fold my way through the PokerStars Sunday Millions. I am now the comfy guy at the poker table, prepared to crush the souls of anyone who gets in my way!

I put the final touches on it all yesterday and then tested out playing it for the first time. I had been hearing all about these brand new Rush tables on Full Tilt Poker so I thought what better time than now to give them a go. There is something quite satisfying about sucking out on people in massive monitor fashion and then escaping from the table before they even have a chance to yell at you. It is forced hit ‘n run action and it is tremendous fun!

So there you have it, being hunched up in a dodgy room with a dodgy computer was so 2009. This year it is all about upgrading. Sure I still live in the same dodgy 'chateau de whore' that I lived in all of last year in Ashfield but I now have the technology to move forward and poker it up with the best of them. This year is it a new me. Sort of a Joey Del 2.0 version. The upgraded model. With any luck my upgrade will prove to be a little bit more successful than the Vegemite one!

Have a great week and good luck in whatever it is you do!

- Joey Del

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Watch out ladies - it's the new and improved Joey Del! Watch out ladies - it's the new and improved Joey Del!

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