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The Joey Del Experience: Living The Couch Life And "The Crew"

Posted at 08:11 2009-06-20
Hello! How is everyone doing out there in Internet land? I don’t know about you guys but I am exhausted! Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been exercising or anything silly like that, it is basically a continuation of the issues I was talking about in the last article. However it has gotten worse, much, much worse.
 
You see there is one other thing that they throw into the mix besides the cavalcade of television series that I have on my computer. It is a little thing called live sport and it is ruining my life! I love sport, not playing it or anything silly like that but watching it and betting on it. Now there are two types of people when it comes to sports fans in Australia. This is caused by the fact that we are so far away from the rest of the world that all good sport is played in the middle of the night. There is the ‘too legit to quit’ sports fans who must watch everything live and then there is the queefy, faggy, semi sports fans who are happy to record events and watch them at a later hour which is more sleep and health friendly.
 
Now as far as I am concerned the latter type of people are not sport fans. They just pretend to be sports fans as if you are a guy and you don’t like sport in Australia you are more or less gay. However, luckily, I find that the majority of people that I associate with and especially members of the sporting community are normal crazed sports fans who get up in the middle of the night to watch things live. It is a very silly time at the moment. Take last night for example - the FIFA Confederations Cup is on at the moment. Of the two games that were played last night, the early game (Brazil vs USA) started at 11pm Sydney time and the late game started at 4am (Italy vs Egypt). So with only 3 hours in between there is no point sleeping. Add into that the fact that the US Open Golf has just started (Live coverage starts at the very convenient time of 3am in Sydney) and you are basically kidding yourself if you think you are getting any sleep.
 
Now you may be reading this and thinking, Joey, stop your whinging, just sleep during the day, no big deal. Well whilst I agree that your logic is good in theory, there is another element that needs to be factored in. The fact that I am one of those people who is lucky (read as silly) enough to have a girlfriend. Now girlfriends are a great bunch of people, as they are happy for you to do whatever you want. I am fine to stay up all night and watch whatever I want but if I even think about sleeping when she wants to do something there is hell to pay. So you have the unfortunate situation of not being able to sleep at night out of fear of missing one second of live sport and not being able to sleep during the day due to the fact that your girlfriend will come in and knife the bejesus out of your sleeping body if you are asleep during the day. It makes you realise just how important and wonderful coffee is!
 
I also have got the world’s smallest TV at home, which is both sad and depressing. So I literally spend about half the week sleeping on my friends couch as he has an awesome TV and the world’s comfiest lounges. It has actually gotten to the point that I don’t know why I don’t just let my dodgy former whore tenant rent my apartment again and use it as a whore house because I am never ever there!
 
Speaking of my friend, I got in trouble in that last article as whilst I was speaking about one of my friends who came over before going on holidays to Thailand and gave me a whole bunch of TV series and movies for my laptop. He was a little hurt because I didn’t mention his name. So for him to get his 15 minutes of fame and to help you get an insight into the JoeyDel lifestyle I thought I would give you a brief snap shot of the core members of ‘the crew’.
 
Firstly I will start with the guy whose couch I have been sleeping on for the past week. His name is Punty. He has another name but he has been Punty as long as I have known him (maybe 5 years) and that is just who he is. Punty plays online almost exclusively on PokerStars. He is a $3/$6 NLHE player and he does pretty well for himself. I recently heard reports that he has earnt more FPP points than any other Australian poker player but I don’t know how true that is. When he is not playing poker he is normally either grinding out online Monopoly for rolls or staring at me sleeping on his couch wondering why the hell he keeps letting me stay over. He is originally from the country and due to that is basically a hippy. Good value though.
 
Then there is the person who Punty often plays Monopoly against and the other guy who is always sleeping over at Punty’s apartment. To be honest between the two of us I don’t think Punty ever has a night alone in his apartment. His name is Paren “Puzz” Arzoomanian. You may remember the name as Puzz won the 2009 ANZPT Sydney event a few months ago which was good for him to earn a very tidy $250,000 pay day. Puzz plays $10/$20 NLHE online on the iPoker network but he runs sick hot at Monopoly and he nearly makes enough money off Punty playing Monopoly to cover what he loses in cash games. Puzz is the kind of guy that makes one armed, one legged people with a terminal illness look healthy. He hasn’t walked since 1986 and when there is not a cigarette in his mouth there is a kebab, when there is not a kebab in his mouth there is a Bacon and Egg roll. Puzz makes fun of people’s mothers more than I breathe and he is certainly entertaining value.
 
The other member that I would like to mention is the person in question from the last blog article. Pasquale or Pazz to those of us that are lucky to know him personally. Pazz could be the smartest member of our group. He found an actual guaranteed way to make money from poker. He works at PokerStars. He is certainly an odd member of the group in the fact that he spends more time at work then the rest of us spend watching TV. We have often asked for him to talk to PokerStars upper management and get them to turn the doom switches off our accounts. He reckons that there is no such thing as a PokerStars doom switch... I’m not buying it. Pazz also falls into the group that records sport and watches it at a more convenient time. I’m not saying that he is gay... but come on.
 
There are more members that I will talk about in later articles as I am sure after this one the rest of my group will be sending hate mail wondering why they didn’t get a look in.
 
Make sure you check out this week’s episode of PokerNetwork Radio it is packed full of politically incorrect goodness with our work experience kid Lik Mai Dong talking us through some old Chinese proverbs, he has a whinge because he is Vietnamese and not Chinese... but seriously what is the difference?
 
Also this week have a listen to pick up the password for our exclusive freeroll on Full Tilt Poker. Your chance to win up to $500 cash! I will also be around the tables so make sure you play in the tourney and say hi to me!
 
Anyway good luck with whatever it is you do. Speak Soon!
 
- Joey Del

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The Joey Del Experience: Living The Couch Life and 'The Crew' The Joey Del Experience: Living The Couch Life and 'The Crew'

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