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Top 10 Tips for Aussie Noobs In Vegas

Posted at 23:04 2009-05-13
With legions of Aussies making the trip to Vegas with bracelets and bundles of cash on their mind, I thought it prudent to recap some of the various ‘rookie’ mistakes that are easy to make in Vegas.
 
So how many of these have I learnt from personal experience … well as one of the greatest Las Vegas show men ever once said;
 
“Regrets … I've had a few but then again, too few to mention” – Frank Sinatra.
 
10) When you get to McCarran Airport don’t be blinded by the thousands of slot machines. There will be plenty of chances to blow your bankroll when you get to the actual casinos.
 
9) Don’t waste your time with people on the street trying to sell you timeshare apartments, naked girls to your hotel room or VIP Club passes – these will all waste valuable Vegas time and inevitably end in disappointment of one kind or another.
 
8) Remember to tip your waiters and cocktail waitresses / taxi drivers / valets / bar tenders and most importantly your poker dealers. If you cash for a large amount in a tournament it is expected that you will tip the dealer, the floor AND the cage.
 
7) Everything is further than it looks in Vegas. Just because you can see the MGM from your room at the Mirage doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to walk – particularly when temperatures are closing in on 50 degrees celcius.
 
6) Before you go to the Rio to sign up for a WSOP event, get a players card from one of the other Harrah’s properties (Caesers, Imperial Palace, Balleys, Harrahs, Paris etc). You need this to register and the line at the Rio is always long.
 
5) No matter what the ‘girl’ wearing 4 inch heels on Las Vegas Blvd tries to tell you at 6am, prostitution IS illegal in Clark County, Nevada.
 
4) Don’t bother correcting people when they ask where in England you are from. Just go with it … it’s easier than answering questions about Paul Hogan and your pet kangaroo.
 
3) If you want lemonade ask for Sprite or 7Up (I always forget and it tilts me every time).
 
2) If you visit one of the many Strip Clubs and a girl tells you a private dance is $100, it’s $200. If she tells you it’s $200, it’s $400 + a bottle of Grey Goose.
 
1) After midnight, every taxi you get in will try and take you to their favourite ‘club’ or ‘massage parlour’. This is ALWAYS, without exception, a terrible, terrible idea … errr, uhhhm, or so I’ve heard.

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Top 10 Tips for Aussie Noobs in Vegas Top 10 Tips for Aussie Noobs in Vegas

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